My pussy is not your playground.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All the doctor said was why
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
