yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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