Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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