Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize