3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!