your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.