i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
