the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize