do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
