I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
