Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am naked and annoyed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
