I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
