Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
