So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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