I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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