While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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