i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
