i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
