omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
