you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Found your dick twin last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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