so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
