i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
