she was so not down for the gang bang
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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