So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
