is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They have beer where we have blood.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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