I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize