Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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