I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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