But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
