I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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