I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I forget how to act sober
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
