I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
