i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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