Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
