Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize