I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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