Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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