Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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