I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
