he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
the raccoons are back...
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