i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
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okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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