He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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