Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
