Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
