belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
