So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I didn't notice because vodka
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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