If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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