i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
