My liver just broke up with me...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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