there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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