its not stalking. its research.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He has the fingertips of a God
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