Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
