I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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