I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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