Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Randomize
Follow @tfln