Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick

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(210): Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick http://tfl.nu/y4fo

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(303): View more from Colorado

I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.

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(303): I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all. http://tfl.nu/c3dm

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(732): View more from New Jersey

1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND

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(732): 1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND http://tfl.nu/gn6m

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(816): View more from Missouri

i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.

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(816): i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else. http://tfl.nu/65tn

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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(402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr

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(304): View more from West Virginia

They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.

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(304): They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post. http://tfl.nu/qpv3

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(732): View more from New Jersey

The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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(732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr

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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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(614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave

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(575): I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave http://tfl.nu/cqqt

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.

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(215): i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo. http://tfl.nu/xre9

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(916): View more from California

I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.

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(916): I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina. http://tfl.nu/c8ir

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives

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(501): Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives http://tfl.nu/b213

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(817): View more from Texas

Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose

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(817): Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose http://tfl.nu/bx5q

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(614): View more from Ohio

Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

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(614): Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it. (1-614): I can bring a slip n slide and curtains. http://tfl.nu/1p4g

Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (531)
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(917): View more from New York City

Yea we just broke up

(914): View more from New York

so do we start sexting now or later?

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(917): Yea we just broke up (914): so do we start sexting now or later? http://tfl.nu/8x1o

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