i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
