Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
