what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
