im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
